Dear Brookline Department of Public Works,
You are confusing. I was under the impression that plastic was recyclable. In fact, you have continuously proven this to be true as I wake to find my various plastics missing from the end of my driveway every Wednesday morning. I have but only one recycling bin at my disposal and I chose to use this for cardboard. I know now to never place the folded cardboard into another cardboard box, as this would probably blow your fucking mind. I apologize for putting my recyclable plastics in a non-recyclable plastic bag instead of putting them in the recycling bin I do not have. I was unaware that this could potentially tear a hole in the Matrix. If it is not too much to ask, I would like to ask you a few questions so that I do not make such a foolish mistake in the future.
1.) How would I go about recycling a plastic bag?
2.) Where can I find a plastic bag that is recyclable?
3.) How would I go about recycling a broken recycling bin?
4.) How would you know whether or not to recycle the recycling bin?
5.) Should I leave a note?
6.) Was it really necessary to deem this situation as being unacceptable? I would understand if I were putting all of my bottles and cans into a recycling bin made of horsemeat. That would be unacceptable, as horsemeat is very expensive and should never be placed outside overnight.
I look forward to hearing from you, as your reply will look great with all of the recyclables I will be placing into a plastic bag and leaving for you on the sidewalk next week.
Very Sincerely,
Bryan Waterman
P.S. Sorry, one last question. Do you know anyone who would want to buy large quantities of horsemeat?
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